The Braggarts and St Caths keep up the pace at the top with victories

Results & Match Reports

At the top of the table both the Braggarts and St Caths kept up the pace with victories respectively over the Albert and Albert Park.    With just one round of games remaining the Braggarts lead St Caths by a single point.  Next Wednesday the Braggarts play away against Snoopy's at St Catherine's club while St Caths play the Opsimaths at the Albert Club.  A really tense finish is guaranteed.

In the other fixtures this week:

• TUFKAC continued their rousing end of season form with a comprehensive rout of the Electric Pigs

• Dr O'Neil got a convincing and very welcome win over Snoopy's Friends (who were playing one short)

• SWMCC moved up the table with a well earned victory over lacklustre Opsimaths at the Albert Club - South West could now end their first Withquiz season in the top half of the table  - and to celebrate they're planning to change their name to 'Stumped' for next season

Apologies for posting this week's results a bit late.  I missed out on Wednesday evening's matches, choosing instead a brief and very sunny break in the Scottish Highlands.  I only got back this (i.e. Friday) evening.  All the results, the question paper (electronically from Ivor - many thanks) and (although the Brains weren't playing this week) the weekly musings from Ballyboke (see below) were waiting for me on my computer when I switched on.  You (and especially amongst you the Braggarts and Snoopy's) will note that Fr Megson is gripped by excitement at the impending struggle of the Titans due for next Wednesday at St Catherine's club.  To mark the occasion he has interviewed a senior Snoopy player (methinks a little fabrication here, Your Honour).

Quiz Paper Verdict

The paper this week was set by the Historymen.  Comments were generally favourable although aggregate scores were a tad on the low side (mid 50s to 70).  Ivor owned up to some candidates for terminological inexactitude in the paper, namely:

• The Misfits was the last film of Montgomery Cliff, as well as of Clark Gable

• both de Montford University and Anglia University have campuses at several sites

• and, although Martin Sheen is probably Emilio Esteves's father, it is a wise child that knows it's own father!!

The Question of the Week

Because I love hearing snippets of Betjeman anytime my 'question of the week' award goes to Round 6 Question 2:

What is the missing town from this Betjeman poem:

"Miss J Hunter Dunn, Miss J Hunter Dunn

Furnish'd and burnish'd by ------- sun?"

For the answer to this, and all the week's questions and answers click here

Chatterbox

It seems that I was a little harsh on SouthWest's paper last week.  Apparently the question paper was road-tested on 5 of Copland's friends (??) and between them they conjured up the answers to all the questions - even the 'real name of Roy Rogers' question.  I gather levels of knowledge on Roy Rogers are considerably higher in Chorlton than in Withington or Didsbury.

Fr Megson

Ballyboke Bugle Saturday Supplement

Legend tells us that on St. George's Day 2003 the white Knights of The Companions of St. Snoopy did mortal battle with the noisome maiden-mauling, vindaloo-swilling Braggarts of Griff.  Today to mark the Millennium of this, the kid sister of all battles, we revisit Snoopy and, in the tired and detested format of a more famous but less worthy Saturday supplement, we subject them to a toe-curlingly fatuous Q + A session.  No names have been changed to protect the innocent and it should be noted that the editor is insolvent as he had to buy another loaf at lunchtime. 

Home for Snoopy's Friends is a large detached neo-Romany caravan which clings idyllically but frantically to the westernmost tip of the third Reek from the sun.  When I arrive I find that all the others have gone out otter-tagging leaving the paterfamilias to field my questions unconferred - thus at a stroke doubling the fee.  I am surprised to find that he is in fact Sassenach-born, a cross he seems to bear with good humour and great fortitude.  Looking cool yet reassuringly avuncular in a cerise kaftan with matching deerstalker and bedsocks he drapes himself luxuriously across an accommodating ottoman and, sucking ruminatively on his meerschaum, signals me to begin: 

Q:  Firstly, a question often asked by housewives who can't resist a flutter on you, is 'Snoopy's Friends' your real name?

A:  (Laughing and peeling a kumquat).  Good Heavens, no.  No that name goes back to the early 90's when we were big in the world of rap music.  We have kept it partly for reasons of nostalgia and partly to confuse the tax man.  No, our real name is 'The Wife and Bairns of Judge Roy Bean'. 

Q:  When did you first break into the world of TV stardom?

A:  I think it was in 1685 (gosh I'm showing my age now!) when we were lucky enough to be asked to host the popular light entertainment programme 'Sunday Night At The Bloody Assizes' .  Do you remember 'Beat the Clock-Watcher'? That was our idea.  Of course not many people had clocks or even TVs in those innocent days. 

Q:  Do you believe in Life?

A:  Yes.  Especially for those irritating people who insist on reusing partly franked postage stamps. 

Q:  And Death?

A:  If the black cap fits. 

Q:  And Life after Death?

A:  No. The quality of mercy is not strained but droppeth like a gentle Fr. Megson from the Premiership.  Ergo, the two sentences should be allowed to run concurrently. 

Q:  And less boringly, what's your favourite Boy Band?

A:  (Polishing a papaya with gusto).  Atomic Kitten. 

Q:  What is your greatest strength?

A:  An esoteric knowledge of Irish geography.  My family has had moles in the Reeks for centuries and they keep us fully informed.  And before you ask we don't have any weaknesses.  Incidentally, did you know that the medieval Reeks were divided into 14 ridings just like Somerset?  Marvellous! 

Q:  What is your favourite smell?

A:  Exhibit "A" from The Crown versus Keith Moon at The Old Bailey in September 1972. 

Q:  And your favourite fantasy?

A:  It used to be coming off the bench, still in my robes, to score the winning goal in the All-Ireland Hurling final (a more dapper version of that chap in the Guinness advert).  I can't really discuss my more recent one as it is currently sub judice - anyway it's none of your business, slaphead! 

Q:  What keeps you awake at night?

A:  Dangling participles, Schrödinger's Cat and bad-boy Braggarts throwing stones at my window. 

Q:  Should the Royal Family be scrapped?

A:  No, not all of them.  Just the big fat geezer in the armchair.  He should be ashamed of himself, he should. 

Q:  How would you define a perfect question?

A:  One that is left hanging in the air for a while before it is allowed to go begging. 

Q:  What is the one most important lesson that Latin has taught you in life?

A:  (Looking darkly into his half-eaten pomegranate) "Mens imbuta vino volat ad pudenda." 

Q:  If you could take only one dyslexic anagram with you to your Desert Island to remind you of your colleagues in the Reeks quiz league which one would you choose.

A:  GRABING FFRIGG-RATS. 

Q:  Finally, how would you like to be remembered?

A:  Instantaneously and for 2 points (imagine the ignominy if my family had to confer!). 

Fr Megson 

Editor's note:

Julie O' Burchill is unwell (a vented spleen following a surfeit of french fries).  I'm sure all our readers will join our circulation manager in wishing her a very slow recovery.