Results & Match Reports

• Albert and Opsimaths fought themselves to a standstill with the season's first tie (thanks to Alice knowing that Fergie came from Govan)

• Snoopy's Friends beat Stumped at South West CC in a close run match

• Electric Pigs lost to the improving X-Pats

• Ethel Rodin ran out easy winners against Albert Park in a match that, with the Park's 18, featured the lowest score for some while

• Fifth Finger beat St Caths in the top of the table clash at the Griffin - St Caths have now lost 2 weeks on the trot - the Fingers are beginning to look unassailable - somebody beat them please!!!

Quiz Paper Verdict

This week it was Bingo time with the Fr Megson and his Brains of Oak.  On the whole the questions were pretty tough with a few phrased rather cryptically.  For instance I got all confused over the Plato/Aristotle one (Q8).  It was a noisy pub and a struggle to hear the words.  To move up a notch and be asked to interpret a whimsical turn of phrase was too much for me.  My mind was scratching around trying to think of entertainers whose stage names were 'Aristotle' and 'Plato'.  One team described the paper as a 'Bit of a slog' and this summed up the comments received.  Nevertheless there were a few gems. 

(Since publishing the above Gerry has written me a most interesting note about the whole conundrum of setting the perfect paper - and I have replied.  To see this exchange click here.  I will leave a link to this debate for a week or two.  Do email me if you wish to contribute and I will add your comments to the special page.)

Across the matches the average aggregate score was 60.0, which is pretty low, with actual aggregates varying from 50 (Ethel/Park) to 67 (Stumped/Snoopy's).

So, a message for Dummy (next week's setter): Easier questions PLEASE!!!

The Question of the Week

My vote for 'Question of the week' goes to (Q66):

To date why are William Pitt the younger, Lord Salisbury and Tony Blair unique among British Prime Ministers?

To see the answer to this and all the other questions click here.

Chatterbox

Refurbishment at the Red

A warning for the coming weeks:  we believe the Red Lion will be closed for refurbishment during the last week in March and the first week in April.  The Historymen and Ethel Rodin will need to make some alternative arrangements and we will have to fix an alternative pick-up point for the questions.  The Fletcher Moss has been suggested as a pick-up point.  Anyhow, Gary D is on the case and will advise all concerned shortly.

Mastermind

Such is the popularity of our site that researchers from the BBC are calling.  I received a message this week inviting anyone interested to apply to appear on the next series of Mastermind (go on Martin have a bash).  This was the message:

"I am looking for contestants for Mastermind 2004 - if anyone is interested could they please contact me on 0161 244 3528 or mutale.nkonde@bbc.co.uk"

Football bits

Oh and a tip from Kieran (who, please note, has changed his contact phone number to 0785 501 5376) that rather took my fancy:

"If you like football, or even if you don't you should check out Anelka's website.  He's surely taking the piss out of everybody with phrases such as "Nous sommes a 100% derriere le coach."  I assure that's really on there.  He's shot up in my estimation."

And in case you're wondering the answer to this question:

Only 5 players have scored at least one goal for each of 5 different Premiership clubs since the Premiership began in the 1990's.  Name them.

which has been on the site for the past fortnight is:

 Stan Collymore, Mark Hughes, Nick Barmby, Ashley Ward and Benito Carbone

.....and it may be that Les Ferdinand has joined the group since the question was hatched

.....and an anonymous correspondent claims that Paul Ince can also lay claim to belonging to this elite group through goals for West Ham, Man U, Middlesbrough, Liverpool and Wolves

Fr Megson

Bog-Snorkellers Of the World Unite

A Chairde,

Mounting problems for Fr. Sinbad Megson this season as Brains of Oak struggle to regain their majestic mediocrity of yesteryear.  No, I never knew his first name was Sinbad either, until he let it slip in the sauna.  Apparently it is taken from an old Pictish acronym standing for Single Income No Brains Absolutely Desperate.  Much more interesting than Jack don't you think?  To his credit, though, the bespectacled par-boiled carrot lookalike is refusing to panic.
Interviewed exclusively for the Isle of Skye Bog-Snorkelling Channel on the steps of his beloved Church Of The Hidden Ovarie his remarkable sang-froid showed through even more clearly than the Scooby-Doo T-shirt under his size 44 pink nylon shirt (Millets of Collyhurst ; £2.99; matching bobble-hat 49p extra).
"Mounting problems are nothing new to me ", he beamed, "but fortunately I have a celibacy clause written into my contract, so I don't let such problems cramp my style too much.  Seriously though, it would take more than the odd apocalypse or two to put me off the smell of Coco-Pops in the morning.  I know they haven't answered a question correctly since mid November but these things happen in quizzes and, at the end of the vespers, they are still a young and callow team - well, apart from three or four of them.  My bestest buddy from the top bunk at the seminary, Fr. O' Leary, had the same trouble with his babies at Leeds United but he didn't panic and look where they are today - er, everywhere except in Leeds come to think about it.  Anyway, there's no way I would agree to go to bloody Birmingham and take up a missionary position under Bishop Doug Ellis like poor Fr. O'Leary had to do.  No way, Josie."
The transfer window may be open but Fr. M. won't be spending any money. "There is some money in the kitty since we have not had to buy a round this season but I'm saving that since I promised my housekeeper who does for me (and splendidly too!) that I would take her to the Atomic Kitten concert at St. Kathleens.  I confess - oops there I go talking shop again - that I did go round the skips of Didsbury and Withington on Boxing Day looking for bargain basement players surplus to requirements at wealthier teams but there was nothing worth picking up, not even outside the Bath household.  I did find a few old turkeys but why carry coals back to Newcastle, so to speak!"
Has Fr. SM as he is known in the sauna, any plans to change the team's tactics in the second half of the season?
" Tactics? I'm afraid you've lost me there", conceded the man recently voted most likely to be the next Fr. Keegan."  Actually it would be nice if the team could sit down during home matches.  That bloody landlord has got more TV sets than they have at NASA Control.  Another useful innovation might be for the team to start listening to the question being asked and to leave their specialised subjects to the end of the quiz".  Roisin's specialised subject after a few pints of diet Vimto is entitled "How Hard It was Being A Cowgirl in North Belfast During The War Of The Roses".  A quick resumé of this local parish skirmish for those of you who have been following the Princess Di story over on ITV for the past 36 years and may have missed any mention of it:

The Green Roses had God on their side and they went into extra time against the Orange Roses who had the even more ubiquitious and omniscient Rev. Paisley on their side, though if they had not been so strapped for cash they would have liked to replace him with Sir Alec Ferguson.  The Green Roses were doing rather well until Roisin got sent off (to Manchester) for being drunk in charge of a bin lid and for not having a beard - well, how can you possibly terrorise people properly if you haven't even got a beard!  She went on to form her own renegade faction which she called the Stoned Roses.  But they had neither God nor the Rev. Paisley on their side and they quickly wilted.  Roisin then fell foul of the Defence Of The Realm Act (DORA, who coincidentally is not related to our very own ETHEL Rodin) and she was subsequently interned in a high security Post Office in a far-flung and inhospitable suburb of the British Empire.  And there to this day she languishes, incarcerated in a 3 foot square registered locker and forgotten by everyone except for pensioners who like to drop in once a week just to ask her questions a bit like the ones you get asked on THE WEAKEST LINK only not as daft.

But don't breathe a word of this in public just in case there happens to be any nonogenarian Black and Tans loitering at the bar.  You never know these days.