Withington Pub Quiz League - quizbiz 27/01/05

Results & Match Reports & Quiz paper verdict

Opsimaths provided a willing shoulder to the Fingers who were still smarting from last week's Historic defeat - and the Opsies duly got stuffed for their trouble!!

X-Pats just lost a close match to the improving Albert

History Men continued at the top with a convincing win over the Albert Park team - but only after they had decamped from the noisy Red Lion to the quieter climes of the 'quiz-friendly' White Swan

In the 3rd/5th place ding dong FCEK came out on top - by some margin - against Ethel Rodin

Electric Pigs lost to Snoopy's Friends in a fairly tight affair at the Oak

Quiz paper verdict

This week's paper was a St Caths production. Plenty of points on offer but some of them without too much effort required. General consensus was that the team going second in the first half had the raw end of the deal. Father Megson muttered something about "not so much a curate's egg as a parson's nose" - but you know what he's like - opionated old bogtrotter. Our favourite moment at the Albert Club was being asked by you-know-who: "Which song starts 'The taxman's taken all my duff'?". I wonder what the second line would have been?

The Question of the Week

This week the award goes to Round 5 Question 2:

Mathematically speaking, what is the maximum number of points that could be scored by a football team finishing second in the FA Carling Premiership?

Click here to see the answers to this and the rest of the week's questions and answers.

Chatterbox

The Grand RoisÍn Limerick Competition

After hours of backroom debate between teams of bards I am able to approach the public with the result of this epic competition. In the end Damian's quantity just failed to overcome the wit of Copland's 'Oisín/Noisín' gem or the whimsicality of Baby Tolan's flowing verse. So the winners are repeated below and a WithQuiz pint awaits both at the end of season bash.

Roisín's fund of knowledge is vast

Her team almost never come last

But questions on rivers

Just give her the shivers

The Shannon just flowed right on past

(John "Baby" Donne)

It was when the man asked pretty Roisín

where the Shannon arrived at the oisín,

though it wasn’t that hard

she ummed and she ah-ed

and clearly she hadn’t a noisín

(Copland "the Bard of Chorlton" Smith)

If you missed all the fun last week click here to view the full horror of all the Roisín limericks.

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Eggheads

The Didsbury Allstars (Barry, Damian, Andrew, John, Mark and Copland) are now scheduled for an audition in the Manchester BBC studios on Sunday February 6th at 4.45pm. However I gather Kieran is still having difficulty getting all the details together for the Withington Allstars entry which is yet to be submitted. I will keep you posted as events unfold

Fr Megson

The Priest is not for Turning

A chairde,

People often stop Fr. Megson on the street and say:

"Now just run back in there like a good priest and put that bottle of Merrydown back on the shelf and we won't say any more about it this time".

And you know, in a very real sense they are right. If it wasn't for the kindness of strangers like them Fr. Megson would be forced to take to his bed with a permanent hangover the size of County Laois.

Do any of our listeners have a similar heartwarming story about having their lives reaffirmed outside the COOP by security guards? Do write in and tell Auntie Mike all about it on the website. There's a mega bottle of Merrydown to be shared by the ten best entries - but I can't seem to find the receipt so please don't go supping it outside the COOP.

Very often people stop Fr. Megson on the street and say:

"Well now Father, it's nice to see you out on parole again and when will you be changing your name to Fr. Robson?"

On these occasions I tend to smile benignly, raise my hands as if in benediction and gently apply my forehead to the bridge of the supplicant's nose. I then offer my hanky as a peace-offering and say unto them:

"What sort of effin' eejit are you anyhow to be askin' such stupid effin' questions? Sure even a protestant wouldn't be goin' round askin' pup questions like that! Do you mean to say that I look like a Fr. Robson or something? Are you tryin' to say that I look like a middle-aged overweight terminally depressed dipsomaniac has-been with a cry-baby 'woe is me' Geordie accent? (Ed. Note: We think the Geordie accent lets Fr. Megson off on a technicality here!)

Away home to yer cesspit and boil yer head".

Then I go all holy looking again, tell them they can keep the bloody hanky, and absolve them on the spot (well, I am a priest after all). I then tell them to run along home to the bosom of their family and the dog but for penance they should watch the five sorrowful videos of Fr. Robson being interviewed after the match. If, after watching the interviews they still think that Fr. Robson has the face and the mind of a satirically eloquent priest, they should report back to me at confessions next Saturday evening and I will break their bloody nose all over again. Persistent offenders will not be given the purgatory option when they die. They will go straight to the Hawthorns.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm just popping out to the COOP. Don't wait up for me.

Fr. Megson (for ever and ever)