Opsimaths beat X-Pats, continuing their relentless march up the table towards mediocrity.

FCEK were done over at Fortress White Swan by lowly Snoopy's Friends.  This is a serious blow to the "Anyone but the Mad Dogs campaign".

History Men beat Albert - but only just, as Evelyn's lot rallied strongly in the second half.

Which three words appearing consecutively in the dictionary mean:

• Perfect or fully-skilled;

• Sexual completion;

• Pulmonary disease?

"The idea originated with one of the bartenders who is training to become a publican and asked Ken, the landlord, if he could organise the event as a project (for the aficionados amongst you that means it is NOT a Frankie quiz!).  All those who are interested please turn up on February 6th and we will set up the teams of four by drawing names out of a hat. 

Please let me know if you’d like to join in - and if you’re turning up with someone else.  I’ll make more detailed arrangements in due course.

Regards, Andrew"

Meanwhile at the Albert Club, last Monday saw the first in the new series of monthly quizzes (to be held on the last Monday of each month).  Things went pretty well with the deployment of more technology than has been seen in local quizzes hitherto.  Most of it worked and the audience seemed to like it.  A threesome FCEK team turned up and walked away with first prize - by one point.

Nobody ever gets their name up in lights at the White Swan - there's only so much you can do with two light bulbs!  But metaphorically, Tony and his gifted Canine Friends achieved this accolade last night, becoming only the second team this season to carry home the bacon from Ladybarn's dimpressive Stadium of Murk.

Snoopy has been our traditional Nemesis over the years so we were none too surprised at the outcome, despite going into the last round with a 4 point advantage.  MEMO to team: this week's training session will mostly be dealing with the 2005 obituary pages - we can maybe do the 2006 edition a little later on.  Tony on the other hand seemed a trifle stunned by the victory.  He nearly spilled our free drinks as he cart-wheeled his way back from the bar.  Then came an urgent request as to whether anyone had Mike Bath's mobile number, fearing no doubt that the victory would quickly turn to ashes if not registered before the webmaster had a chance to sober up.  Aidan took the added precaution of notifying all the Irish newspapers.  Anyway, well done Snoopy Dog.  Good win, good team, good quiz, good grief!  Now we'll have to beat the Mad Dogs TWICE if we are to have any chance of wresting the laurels from their rabid paws this season.

We liked the questions last night and I was particularly impressed by the first themed round.  I presume that it was intentionally and fiendishly booby-trapped.  We were quite convinced that the theme was colours until we simply couldn't come up with a colour to explain the stage entrance of Bill Kerr.

"Maybe Bill Kerr is wrong", opined Roisin frantically.  "Maybe the actor was Richard Greene."  Good point Roisin.  But would the hero of Sherwood Forest really have felt at home in the environs of East Cheam chez Tony Hancock.

And surely, it would only have been a matter of time before Anthony Aloysius snarled: "Get out of my digs, you Brylcreemed poof and take your band of Merry Men with you.  Good grief."

One genuine note of dissatisfaction with an otherwise skillfully put together paper.  We were narked to get no points for correctly naming Peter Nicholl's 1960s play A DAY IN THE DEATH OF JOE EGG.  Even more narked when our opponents were awarded a bonus point for incorrectly naming it A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JOE EGG.  I know how easy it is to make small mistakes when setting but I think this called for a greater degree of care.  The incorrect answer does a great disservice to the subtlety of the author.  Anyone who has seen this excellent play (or film) will know that it was deliberately named to make a very important point about the existence of a severely handicapped child and the way parents respond to this burden.  Perhaps one of the very rare occasions when a trivia quiz question can be described as the difference between LIFE and DEATH.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a lot of obituaries to get through before the team arrive for training.