Withington Pub Quiz League - quizbiz 29/11/06

Results & Match Reports

Three-man Albert Park struggled against similarly short-handed 2 FCEKs in a relatively low-scoring game at the Albert Club.

X-Pats fought out a real nail-biter with Electric Pigs, finally having to settle for a tie.

History Men comprehensively defeated Albert in the highest scoring game of the night.

Snoopy's battled ferociously against in-form Opsimaths, finally prevailing by a single point to move clear of the foot of the table.

Quiz Paper Verdict

Ethel Rodin produced a paper combining a number of factual questions (some straightforward, others a little more elusive) with some interesting brain teasers. Some of the pairing seemed a little odd but there have been no reports of factual errors. With an average aggregate score of only 55.5, this was the lowest scoring quiz this year. Ivor of History Men described the paper as "A good stiff challenge".

The Question of the Week

In the absence of any nominations for QOTW this week the editorial board has selected Round 2 Question 8:

The seventh edition of the Chambers Dictionary has the following three words in consecutive order. Their definitions are:

a) A Muslim sect, or a member of it

b) A Japanese healing and health promoting therapy using massage with fingers, palms etc:

c) The Gileadite test-word for an Ephraimite (Judges 12, 5-6): any such test: a cant phrase.

Click here to see the answers to this and the rest of the week's questions and answers.

Chatterbox

As Mike Bath has now left the country for the Antipodes let me just remind everyone of my contact details:-

email - johndennisonco@aol.com

telephone - 0161 4451522

mobile - 07813 610987

Fr Megson

Looking Forward to the Year 3000

A Chairde,

Still quite a few years to go before we are due for another new millennium but it's been quite a week for visitations in the Withquiz parish.

Just before he went down under Mike B. was surprised to find a fairy in his bedroom - of the winged variety, I hasten to add. Never one to look a gift horse in the mouth the veteran Opsimath trapped the little varmint in his sock drawer and threatened to leather it to death with his favourite Hush Puppy if it refused to grant him the statutory Three Wishes.

"Three wishes", guffawed the feisty little sprite, "are you 'avin a larf? ..listen, pal,this is post-Thatcher Britain, not bleedin' Fairyland. You can 'ave one fcekin wish and that's yer lot...and even then it will be of the either/or variety. Deal or no deal, pal?"

The proffered choice turned out to be either for England to win the first Test match by a record margin or for Mike to have unlimited Svengali-like control over a bevy of beauties for a whole evening in the comfort of his own bowling club.

Rather selfishly perhaps, Mike opted to allow his lust to overcome his patriotism and was soon left to repent at leisure when the bevy of pulchritude was revealed to be none other than (The) Napier Girls - all 52 stone of them simpering on Mike's knee and taking it in turns to whisper sweet nothings into his ear. Hence the Opsimath's unexpected victory last Wednesday.

"It was sweet as a nut", said an exhausted Mike afterwards, "but not quite the kind of climax to the evening I was hoping for".

Funnily enough, the other visitation in the parish also concerned one of (The) Napier Girls. Apparently Michael had been attending a meeting of The Flat Earth Society in a pub in East Manchester. It was a dark and stormy morning as Michael left the pub to walk home at approximately 4am, all the while taking great care not to step over the edge into the yawning abyss that lies directly below Eastlands. Imagine his surprise when he saw a spectral lady sitting majestically atop a traffic cone somewhere in Beswick. She was very beautiful and immaculately dressed in a sky blue and white kaftan with matching cloak and halo. She was clasping to her bosom a pair of rosary beads, a toy horse and what appeared to be a torn up season ticket. She looked very sad yet serenely resigned to her abject misery. Michael cannot be sure but he thinks she said something like "Blessed are they that giveth sustenance to the goat" before she floated away over the rooftops towards Gorton.

So intense was the vision that Michael immediately fell into a deep slumber and woke up the next morning in a vandalised bus shelter with a throbbing headache, blurred vision and a raging thirst....

Even more terrible to relate was the fact that he found a mysterious hole in the left knee of his trousers and there were traces of dried blood on the patella itself. Not only that but he experienced a terrible sensation in his right thigh as if hundreds of demons were sticking pins and needles into it.

Spooky or what?......I'd like to see that auld rationalist bollox, Dickie Dawkins, explain this one away..........

Fr. Megson