SPW scored a comprehensive victory over the Electric Pigs notching up their first 50 point tally of the season

Albert in their debut match of the season just beat off the challenge from the Prodigals at the Fletcher Moss

Which area of central London derived its name from its original use as a hunting park for Henry VIII?

Despite the onset of old age and worse, many of you will still experience the odd moment of lucidity.  During these moments you may well have sat up in bed in the middle of the night and screamed: "That oul hoor, Fr Megson, is hardly ever available for comment these days.  God, just listen to the peace and quiet.  Isn't life wonderful."

The medical term for this rare phenomenon is a Euphoria attack and, as the name suggests, it is a sort of feel-good panic attack.  According to eccentric behaviour experts Dr Ivor and Dr Tim (boozedboffins@redlion.com) such attacks are extremely uncommon and virtually non existent among Stockport County fans.  There can be little doubt that the recent spate of Euphoria attacks in the Withquiz community are, at least in part, due to the restrictions placed on Fr Megson by the Vatican and the prison authorities.

There is surely no need to go into the sordid details.  The media and some rather vitriolic megaphone messages by Dusty at the chapel gates every Sunday over the summer has already done so ad nauseam.  Nor is it seemly for a small yet vibrant organ, such as the Withquiz website, to make moral judgements on Fr Megson's actions.  To paraphrase the words of possibly the most successful Messiah in the history of Christianity since Brian Clough: "Let him who has never had the front page of News Of The World given over to exclusives about his sex life on four consecutive Sundays cast the first stone".

So let us not all do a Dusty and label our priapic prelate "a fcekin' aul dirtbag who deserves to be taken down a back entry and beaten to within an inch of his manhood ".  There will be plenty of time to do this after the trial.

And, without wishing to condone the existence in our parish of filthy degenerates like Fr Megson, there is always the chance that a "Not Guilty" verdict  will be returned.  No, seriously, folks...after all, who would have thought that City would win the first four games of the season?  And I for one felt that Fr Megson had a point when he refuted the now notorious NOTW banner headline:

QUIZ PRIEST CAUGHT IN THREE IN A BED SEX ROMP - EXCLUSIVE PICS (see pages 4,5,6,7,8 and 9 and Editorial page 16)

If you remember, Meggers was quick to point out that there was no way a man of his age could survive a three in a bed sex romp.  He confessed to having had a one in a bed sex romp back in the 70s but was off work with a stinging headache for weeks afterwards.  He also claimed that the pictures had been set up by certain Withquiz detractors, long jealous of his unrivalled ability to pluck quiz teams from obscurity and make them mediocre overnight.  And certainly, one of the "dishy, voluptuous sirens" captured in the albeit rather fuzzy snapshots does seem to bear an uncanny resemblance to Howell in a pastel negligée with a lurid yellow mophead sellotaped to his head.  I'm bound to say that I have often thought that Howell can look quite dishy when viewed from a certain angle after a few halves of Bishop's Finger - but I suppose that point of view would be considered to be mere conjecture in a court of law.

Fr Megson would appear to be hiding in the metaphorical bullrushes at the moment.  There was no reply when Dusty threw a petrol bomb through his window last night.  He is believed to be staying with relatives somewhere in the city.  A clue to his whereabouts might be found  in some old  Famine records  which tell us that  "many pestilential and lascivious hedge priests of the ancient McMeg clan were kicked out of the Reeks in the 1840s for selling indulgences in return for spuds, bog-butter and a quick snog with the first-born girl of the family.  They duly arrived in Manchester by the fcekin' boatload.  After many travails they were eventually found suitable accommodation in the Strangeways area of the city where many of their descendants can still be found".

I'll be going over there later on today to visit the X-Pats.  I'll see what I can find out and keep you posted.