(Sorry for the slight delay in updating the site but I was ill last night and had to go straight to bed when I got in)

SPW win the clash of the Titans at the Griffin on a very low-scoring evening

SPW overcame close challengers, the Electric Pigs, by a fairly comfortable margin at the Griffin.  Gerry Hennessy reports that SPW were well and truly on top from the start.  He and the others at the Griffin, however, were underwhelmed with the paper in which the second best team of the season so far could muster only 18 points - and in which 26 of the 64 questions were 'unanswerables'.

Charabancs and the Bards fought themselves to a standstill at the White Swan in only the second tied match of the season.  Damian reports:

"The mysterious thumping noises from above us at the Swan, and Eric's rather naive attempts to exorcise the atmosphere with his magical, pocket-sized light sabre (at least that's what we thought it was), not to mention him threatening to lob meat pies at the august figure of Father M, did not distract both teams from fighting a lengthy, nail-biting contest resulting in a first tie of the season for both teams.  The Charas went into the second half with an 8 point lead but the Bards gamely clawed their way back into the contest with a result that everyone agreed was fair!"

Albert cantered home to a 5-point winning margin against the Prodigals at the Fletcher Moss

This week's paper was set by The Opsimaths.

There's no 2 ways about it - the majority didn't like it.  After providing the highest average aggregate of the season so far in their first paper before Christmas the Opsimaths last night managed to achieve the second lowest of the season (ahead of the Calluna Pussycats) - our top two teams reporting 26 unanswered questions .  Some of the comments received...........

Damian from the Swan......

"The off-the-wall nature of many of the questions provoked frequent lengthy debates and many confers which stretched the quiz out to way past closing time (although that is admittedly a fairly flexible concept in the Swan).  We enjoyed the connections rounds but would have liked a bingo sheet for each of the teams."

From the Griffin both Kieran and Gerry Hennessy (as indicated above) were greatly disappointed.  Kieran found the paper "boring" and Gerry felt the questions "lacked empathy".

From the Victoria James reports that the paper was "not up to the Opsimaths usual standards".  As with the SPW/Pigs match there were 26 unanswered questions.  As Rachael mentions above there was controversy over the magneto/coil question resulting in a text to me towards the end of the evening, in reply to which I said I thought either was an an acceptable answer.  James goes on to suggest the possibility of the question setters being available for texting during Wednesday evenings to arbitrate.  Certainly he prefers this option to resorting to the spares.  He goes on to say: "These things happen rarely, but when they do, they so often seem to make a difference.  If our match tonight had been first in the league v second in the league there'd have been blood on the floor."

From the Albert Club I'm told that, despite the overall lack of points, Historyman David was made up to get a whole round on the Principality (or as Kieran might have put it "catatonia without Catatonia").

As a postscript I have to mention that the non-setting Opsimaths and TMTCH played a most convivial friendly at the Parrswood where the scores were 38-30 in favour of the Opsimaths.  TMTCH's Dave (who by common consent is no mean judge of a good paper) claimed it to be an enjoyable paper (if a little lengthy) with a goodly aggregate score of 68 points.  Very strange.

This week the vote goes to Round 2 Question 3:

Just a wee note to let you know that Fr Megson is a bit tied up at the moment down in the Rifle Volunteer and has asked me to let you know that there won't be any culture in Ladybarn this week either.  It's not all bad news though for youse culture vultures because ITV will be screening a  two hour How Clean Is Your Toilet celebrity special this weekend.

He has also asked me to point out that the unforeseen lack of culture this week has nothing to do with him and that all complaints should be addressed in the first instance to that lazy hoor Dusty but I'm tellin' youse now that there's no way I'll be passin' that message on.

He's an ignorant aul pig, that priest, and about as sensitive to a woman's feelings as a feckin' Sky football pundit.  Here's me workin' me brain to the bone to bring youse a bit of culture and do I get a word of thanks from His Fcekin' Nibs?  Me erse I do.  That man is only happy if he's handin' out pain and degradation to the women of the parish and you'd need to be a right aul eejit to let him handcuff you to the spare bed in his box room and give him leave to chant the Paternoster at you backwards and him frothin' at the mouth watchin' The Song of Bernadette on his black and white portable.  Nosiree, he's got another think comin' if he thinks I'd be daft enough to fall for that aul stunt again.

Anyway culture lovers, I've nearly finished writin' out that play that that aul eejit Lemuel Feckett dictated to me when he was possessin' me last Tuesday evening. I was quite lookin' forward to a bit of possession as it always looks like good craic on the Hammer fillums but by God this was a bit of a let down.  Trust me to get possessed by an aul bollox with a jumped-up accent and hairs growin' out of his nose and ears.  I dunno how he ever managed to win one of them Nobel prizes for the writin' because I've met Opsimaths who could rustle up better plots than he can.  I think he must have been sick the day the schoolmaster did plots so all he can do is pad his oeuvres out with pregnant pauses and existential Weltschmerz by the bucketful.  I mean who the fcek in his right mind would want to pay good money to watch a fcekin' pregnant pause.  So I've had to start from scratch and every time it said "stick a pregnant pause in here" I've had to beef it up a bit with a shootin' or a stabbin' or a car chase or something that a Ladybarn audience could identify with.  And it was up to me to bang in a  bit of rumpy pumpy as well wherever it was integral to the plot.  Looks like that was another day when young Lemuel wasn't well enough to attend school........

............top of the mornin' everyone, I've been up half the night writin'.  I was writin' away like the clappers and was in danger of winnin' the Booker prize or something until me biro started leakin'.  I've told Mr Dusty to get me a new one when the turf accountant opens.  This writin'  lark is great craic altogether.  I feel like  I'm Ladybarn's answer to Virginia Woolf or Barbara Cartland.  I'm a driven woman.  Well, sort of a driven woman except that I've only got an aul push bike so I suppose the technical phrase would be a pushed woman.  And Mr Dusty is being very supportive, he has vowed to be right behind me if ever I need a big push.  It's true, you know, behind every great woman you'll find a badly shaved  man with a bottle of Old Tom and smelly socks that don't match.